


two day shipping

by attolians (annber)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sex Toys, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 11:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22714996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annber/pseuds/attolians
Summary: The day Amazon Prime ruined Evan Buckley's life....or did it?. ♥ .Written for Day 5 of Buddietines week, Valentine's Day gone wrong.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 13
Kudos: 303





	two day shipping

**Author's Note:**

> pls do not sue me amazon I own nothing not even a single stock
> 
> can you even buy sex toys on amazon I don't know and I wasn't willing to do the research u_u

Buck absolutely has no idea what to do with himself.

The very special package he ordered himself for Valentine’s Day has mysteriously not appeared, even though he was promised two day shipping.

To make matters worse, when he checked online the package said it had already been delivered.

Does he deserve this? Does getting shitfaced, ordering yourself a vibrating dildo and lube on Amazon, and knowing exactly who you were going to think about using it equate to bad karma?

He bites his lip as he paces back across his loft.

It probably does.

Now his package has been delivered to one of his neighbors in inconspicuous packaging with his _name_ on it and they’re going to find out that he’s enough of a freak to order sex toys on Amazon.

Buck sinks onto his couch and covers his eyes with his hand before groaning to himself.

It would have been better to order from someone with bold, proud packaging. Maybe something like _‘Don’t open – dildo inside.’_ That was catchy, right?

Surely, knowing a dildo was in a box wasn’t as bad as _seeing_ it in the box?

_Schrödinger's dildo?_

Buck groans again, bringing up his other hand for added protection from the outside world. Not that it will help him escape from his own mind.

This could potentially be the worst thing he’s ever done.

He pushes off the couch and crosses into the kitchen for a beer.

Maybe if it got him into this mess it can also get him out?

Buck pops open the beer hard enough for the cap to go flying through the air and pinging on the floor somewhere. He doesn’t care.

It’s only after a long gulp that he manages to have a semi positive thought.

Maybe whoever got it will see his name and drop it on his doorstep unopened. Or maybe even if they opened it they’ll drop it off without ever admitting to what they saw or now know about him.

That wouldn’t be so bad, right?

Buck almost manages to smile to himself.

He crosses back to the couch and sits heavily.

His phone vibrating on the side table is enough to distract him from his next sip of beer though.

**_hey I’m coming over. <<_ **

Reading the words fills Buck with a mysterious sense of dread.

A: Eddie usually doesn’t warn him before dropping by. He’ll either ask or Buck won’t have any notice before a visit – not that he minds.

B: Eddie pretty much never uses punctuation in texts. This is…odd.

Buck takes another thoughtful sip of beer.

Maybe Eddie had a fight with one of his family members and needs a quick vent session. That could explain the irritated little period.

This is probably no big deal at all.

A little over half an hour later Eddie lets himself in and Buck walks to meet him.

His heart drops right out of his chest cavity, through his stomach, and out his butt as soon as he sees his best friend though.

Eddie very clearly has an Amazon box tucked under his arm.

From where he’s standing, Buck can see that the blue tape has been slit open.

“Hey,” Eddie says, not meeting Buck’s eyes. “Uhm. Remember how we started sharing your Prime account?”

_Dear God, please strike me down. Just take me now. I’m ready._

“Yeah.”

“This came to my address instead of yours.” 

If Buck’s brain could successfully reproduce the sound of a multiple car crash for him – it would in this moment.

“Chris got excited when he saw a package and-”

“Oh my god!” Buck yelps, taking half a step forward as if that can get Eddie to stop talking. “Did he see it?”

“No,” Eddie assures him, briefly looking to the ceiling as if for help. “I knew I wasn’t expecting anything and got it from him in time.”

Buck presses a hand over his chest, nearly bending in half at the sheer relief of Eddie’s response.

With a colossal amount of courage, Buck manages to gather himself in the next moment.

“Eddie, I am so sorry. No more drunk shopping for me ever again, I promise.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, half strangled.

Clearly, he _had_ seen what was inside the package.

“I thought maybe it wasn’t for you or…”

 _Fuck_.

Why did his brain always abandon him in the moments he needed it most?

“No, it, uh, it’s mine.”

Buck sets a hand on his hip, unsure what else to do with it.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, right?”

“I didn’t know you…” Eddie drifts again before shaking himself. “Here.”

He closes the distance between them, offering the box to Buck.

Buck can’t help but apologize again even as he takes the box,

“I’m so sorry. I nearly scarred Christopher for life, oh my god.”

If possible, Eddie only flushes deeper at this.

“It’s okay. No harm, no foul. Plus, kids find sex toys all the time. Believe me, I’m glad he didn’t and we didn’t have to have any sort of talk about it. But, you know…if it had happened it wouldn’t have been the end of our friendship or anything. We’d have worked it out.”

“I really appreciate that. Thanks, man.”

For the first time since Eddie walked in, Buck feels a genuine smile on his face.

Eddie nods back at him, half smiling too.

“Just don’t name it after me, okay?”

The smile melts off Buck’s face and his heart _whooshes_ out of his body again.

“What?” he exclaims, _far_ too loudly. “I wasn’t gonna – what?! I wouldn’t name a d- after you. I. What!”

“Uh…I just meant…because I found it?”

Buck thinks very seriously about walking out of his loft and never returning.

Instead, he turns abruptly away from Eddie and climbs the stairs as quickly as he can without actually running.

“Thanks,” he tosses over his shoulder as he goes.

“Buck,” Eddie calls from the bottom of the stairs. “Hey, can we talk about this?”

“I don’t want to.”

Buck yanks up the foot of his comforter and shoves the box under before dropping it again. It does basically nothing to actually hide the box but it does make him feel slightly better as Eddie’s feet climb the stairs.

“I think,” Eddie says, leaning back against the railing beside the stairs and tucking his hands into his pockets, “that we maybe really should talk about this though.”

For his part, Buck crosses his arms over his chest.

“Evan.”

Eddie sounds remarkably patient, all things considered.

“I was drunk, okay?”

“Okay…but hypothetically…why would you name a dildo after me?”

“I wasn’t going to,” Buck huffs.

He wasn’t going to name it at all.

But this conversation is going to get worse before it gets better. Not to mention, he probably won’t be able to get Eddie to leave without answering his questions.

Sighing heavily, Buck glances back to make sure he’s not squishing the box before sitting on his bed.

“I was drunk,” he repeats. It’s imperative that Eddie understands that. “And…I think about it sometimes. When I’m drunk.”

Eddie waits a beat. His tongue darts across his lips and he clears his throat.

“It?”

“You know,” Buck stalls – though Eddie clearly doesn’t. “Us,” he finally admits quietly. His face is painfully hot and he’s not sure their friendship will survive this. “I just…I get lonely. You’re basically the most important person in my life and it’s like…emotional transference or whatever.”

Buck risks a short glance at Eddie before continuing.

“I know it’s wrong, okay? You were never supposed to find out.”

Eddie nods once, obviously struggling to take this in.

“So, you were never going to tell me, but you think about what it would be like to have sex with me?”

“Can you _please_ not make me say that out loud?”

“You weren’t going to tell me,” Eddie repeats. “You just accidentally clicked my shipping address while you were drunk?”

“If I remembered you were on the account I wouldn’t have bought it at all,” Buck mumbles. “Shows up in the history. Should have ordered from an actual sex toy website.”

“But I wouldn’t have found out,” Eddie points out.

“You weren’t supposed to f-”

“And you don’t need any sex toys.”

_What._

“I…don’t?” It’s remarkable that Buck manages it with how dry his mouth feels.

Eddie shrugs.

“I mean, I’ve heard the real thing is better.”

Buck nearly asks if Eddie is fucking with him but that’s basically asking for Eddie to make a stupid joke.

“You…want to…?”

For all his bravery, Buck can’t make himself finish the sentence.

“Buck,” Eddie smiles, “you haven’t felt me staring at you for the past…six months?”

“You _what_?”

“They definitely told me I was being obvious.”

“They?” Buck demands. “They who?”

Eddie shrugs again. He lifts a hand to scratch at his chin briefly.

“Everyone?”

“Are you…really?”

“Really. Now, will you get over here so I can kiss you?”

Buck shoves to his feet so fast he stumbles, righting himself before Eddie can reach him.

“I’m okay,” he says. “Please do not delay anything on my account.”

Eddie chuckles, tracing a knuckle just under Buck’s jaw. He slots their mouths together with more force than Buck was expecting, but Buck welcomes the pressure.

Buck’s hands find their way to the sides of Eddie’s t-shirt, gripping it tightly.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, still close enough for them to share the same air.

“For?” Buck manages, still dazed.

“I didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s Day.”

The words shock a laugh from Buck and he leans against Eddie’s shoulder for a moment.

“You know,” he says, his hands slipping down to Eddie’s hips, “I’m pretty sure you did.”

Hooking a fingertip in each belt loop at the front of Eddie’s jeans, Buck tugs him toward the bed.

. ♥ .

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey thanks for reading you can find me on tumblr at rnercutieo ♥


End file.
